to the point I’m giving up on my therapist and her office

you would think that when you’re at you’re lowest point right now in you’re you’re life and you need to talk to your therapist, that she would be there for you to talk to…

nope…I need mine more then anything now, and I can’t fucking see or talk to her  because I missed 3 appointments…it’s so stupid…
I’m just ready to fucking say screw it to the whole system…who needs therapy anyways…


20 thoughts on “to the point I’m giving up on my therapist and her office”

  1. Waiting for another appointment, and realising that you need one, is a brave thing. You are changing something for the better through this process. It sounds like quitting would be another way of self-harming at a time when you need healing, and you are almost at that point where you are going to succeed in getting what you need (in this case some therapy). Keep going!

      1. I don’t know about you, bgddyjim, but I also see a therapist. Sometimes it is so hard to face past traumas, and sometimes dealing with current emotions seems impossible. I can end up feeling so bad about myself that I end up taking action that profoundly harms me, emotionally and physically.

        There is a Buddhist saying that courage is the root of true compassion. I bet you have more of that than me, so I doubt you’ll need to be like anyone else. Just be even more you!

      2. I have a trainload of therapy in my past, mainly surrounding alcoholism (and recovery from it). Some marriage counseling rounded it out. As for trauma, I could spin a yarn or two there. Much was my own doing but not all. What ended up working for me was “keeping my side of the street clean”. As long as I concentrate on that, my melon committee can be dealt with.

        Either way, thank you for the compliment and both comments. I can definitely work on being a better me. 😉

  2. So three times you scheduled appointments and took a time slot that someone else who was hurting could have used. You also took a slot that, had a paying person gotten it, would have helped your therapist his/her living… Instead, you cancelled. Three times. And now you’re angry? You’re lucky your therapist cares enough to schedule you at all.

    Next time you decide to cancel, stop at the office and pay cash, full price, for missing your appointments. You’ll get right in.

    1. Why not show some empathy to someone who is obviously very down at the moment? Instead you are blaming them – I don’t see the point in that. Like the only thing you achieve with such a comment is having the person feel even worse. This definitely is not the right time for tough love. And I am confused, because to me this is so utterly obvious. Can you really not see that? Or do you actually take some pleasure kicking some who is already down (I really hope not).

      I fully understand what you are getting at. And I do agree that there is a cause-and-action that the author is not grasping / avoiding here. And I also would say: Hey you have to live with the consequences of your actions. But why so harsh and off-standish? We are all humans. And here is obviously someone who is in great pain, so why not be kind instead of harsh?

      1. I wrote what i did because if you can’t be honest with yourself, if you lose the ability to see that we create many of our own problems, you can’t come back. You’re truly lost.

        I would retort in a similarly accusatory way, blaming you for allowing someone to wander lost in the woods for the sake of their feelings (gee, how does that work out?) but the best part of your comment is later on, you almost get why I wrote it. Awesome.

  3. And it’s when you’re most fucking depressed when it’s hardest to keep appointments yet they fail to grasp that. Endless frustration.

    1. I can imagine it must be frustrating. While I am one to do everything in my power to make my sessions, I know that’s not always possible. Just as sometimes therapists, themselves, have to cancel/reschedule.

      bgddyjim — Curious, so if they cancel on us, even when we’re extremely struggling, should we then “set boundaries” and refuse to return [for a set duration, or forever] because they weren’t able to keep their commitment to us?…

  4. I’m in the process of transitioning between therapists. My past and my M.O. and my being is telling me to just stop treatment, but I know myself better than that and so have set myself up for a new therapist (the second after my most perfect therapist ever moved away). It’s shitty, and hard, and I hate it, but I have to try.

    Please keep trying.

  5. if she’s a DBT therapist then she expects you to show up regardless of how you feel. I know it sucks but therapists are people too…and she is setting boundaries. You might want to negotiate with her around the days you don’t feel well enough to go. I use phone sessions when I absolutely can’t make it to the office of my therapist.

    1. Therapists who allow phone sessions are the best! I have severe anxiety, and some days I can’t handle driving 30 minutes to get to my counselor. I highly recommend asking if your therapist would allow for the occasional phone session for days when you can’t physically make it in. (This should be a seldom occurrence though; showing up in person is extremely important to your recovery, though it may not always seem like it.)

      1. I agree. It’s always better to show up and to honor the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship. One of the skills that I had to learn as an adult was the ability to set and keep boundaries. It took me awhile to understand that saying no is not the same as saying I don’t love you….and that I am not responsible for catering to the misunderstandings of other people.

        A good therapist is compassionate but effective at setting and keeping boundaries.

  6. It sucks you can’t get an appointment, I have missed a few appointments myself so I know the struggle. Thankfully, my therapist and psychiatrist still see me, but I worry they might ban me too. Hopefully she has a cancellation soon so you can get in there and maybe you can start making appointments again.

  7. Thank you much for visiting my blog. I too am a Borderline survivor. Please do not quit therapy howmuchever tiring or pointless it may “feel”.. it’s just a feeling not fact.. I ve had some extremely tough times in therapy because of my own resistance n relapses but I somehow held on.. three years later am much better than the complete wreck I was once.. I know how you’re feeling right now.. but do push yourself to tk another appointment then push yourself into her clinic.. tk care.. 🙂

  8. Are you in a DBT class? If you aren’t . And want a therapist teaching that group is available to you 24,7. I text or call mine at the moment I need to. If you aren’t in a DBT GROUP, check out Southbridge Counseling. The therapist there is awesome! And you can keep seeing her and text/call after your finished in her DBT group. I took her DBT class four semester in a row. She has a unique way of teaching skills that are easy to understand and use. I still see her once a week and text or call her when I need to. She is awesome!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s