May 2, 2016

I really need to start keeping up with this  blog, lately I have not been caring about anything. I have gotten way off track and it’s really not good. All I want to do is stay home, and not go anywhere. I have not been to therapy in over 3 months and have missed 3 appointments now, and that means I have can only call and see if she’s has cancellations and that’s messed up. I have really screwed things up. I think I’m sabotaging things? I always do that….
Hopefully I can start a new month and and get back on track and get things moving forward…
I need to make some goals..
You guys have a great night
Heather

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10 thoughts on “May 2, 2016”

  1. Hi Heather: I’m sorry you’re having such a challenging time. I’ve been down that hole myself, more than once, so I think I can understand the dark, overwhelming feelings that come with it. The fact that you were able to write about it, as you just did, is good! There is still daylight out there, and you can reach it. I believe that, and perhaps knowing that I do so fervently believe it, and that many others do as well, can help you reach one more rung up the ladder, into the sunlight. Reach for it!

  2. You don’t need goals. You need to get out of the ditch first. You need your therapy sessions.

    Being one and dealing with recovering alcoholics, it’s simple to see who will make it and who will suffer and flounder. Those who embrace the fact they’re different and walk the path to recovering (and who continue to put in the necessary work).

    Those who choose to sit at the back of the room, those who choose to skip the work… those people always struggle. Some make it, eventually, if they embrace the work of it. Their chances are pretty slim though.

    The point is, I’m either on a path of recovery or I’m not. You have your path and you know exactly what you have to do next. That’s the easiest way.

  3. Goals are a wonderful thing. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I fell off from things before, but I get back up. Check out my blog thenewme16blog.wordpress.com. I get into all that.

    Don’r give up on this blog. Let’s inspire each other.

  4. Don’t be too hard on yourself love. This is typical of mental illness. It’s not your fault. I miss my appointments all the time! It’s just the way it is. x x xhugs coming your way x x x

  5. Hi Heather, I’m sorry your having such a hard time right now. Please know that I am here for you ☺.

  6. I don’t know what it is about not wanting to leave the house, but I can relate. Even simple tasks like the grocery store are not simple and I would rather starve then go. I hope it gets better for you soon!!!

  7. I fall into those potholes too, where leaving the house seems merely impossible. Somehow I make it to my appts, typically anyway, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily productive. So, in reality, what’s the better choice?… not to go at all, or go and pretty much just waste my therapist’s time? I suppose that at least in showing she’s getting paid, yet at the same time there may be someone else who could use the slot that would open if I were to miss during those times I know I’m not up “to handle” my session. Seems like, for me, it’d be a lose-lose situation either way, which is perhaps why I’m able to continue pushing myself to make my appts. As I said though, if nothing comes from those appts, then why do I go?!? My [most pathetic] response, I suppose, is that my therapist is the ONLY IRL person who’ll even dare mention [declined] my mental health. I already feel so utterly alone as it is, so even if it’s just sitting in her office & staring at the floor, I’m “not alone” for that period of time per se.

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