What is a (true)friendship to you mean?

I really do think that all my friends   have no idea what it means to have a friendship!!!
I don’t think it’s me at all  I know what means to be a friend to someone.
I don’t have many friends as it is, but this past year the ones that I do, they don’t act like they really care to be friends in the first place. I’m ready just to say fuck it to them all. Who needs friends anyways.
They never answer there phone’s when I call, if I invite them over they say there coming, but never show up and I wait on them all fucking night. I just can’t do it now more it stresses me, and depresses me.
I need friends that are going to be there, answer there phone’s, come and visit.
Everyone needs a friend like that !!
~Heather ~


16 thoughts on “What is a (true)friendship to you mean?”

    1. Yeah, I really hate when this happens, because we do need them to talk to and they say they will be there…that’s why know I don’t call any of my friends if I’m having a bad day, I’ll call the support hotline and talk to them at least I know they will be there to answer the phones..

  1. Hi heather do you think it could be the BPD making you feel like this I often think my friends don’t like me any more including my partner. When really I know they do like me but I’m so used to people not liking me and leaving me I just expect them to do the same.

    1. Yeah, I have thought about that, but then what is the excuse for not answering my calls and stuff…if they just did it sometimes, I would understand and think it’s just me, but this is all the time now

  2. This is true for so many people. I don’t think people really understand friendship. I only have a handful of friends and at best I can 100% count on one of them for anything. I saw that someone asked if this was BPD that makes you feel this way, but I just want to validate your feelings from a perspective of someone without BPD. You have every right to feel how you feel. Maybeven just try to keep yourself open to meeting new people and you will be blessed with that one person you can count on for anything. Keep your chin up!

  3. They sound very passive aggressive. Not healthy at all. You need to dump their asses. If you can find one true friend in life that’s all you need. BPD needs a friend who understands this disease and stand by you thick and thin. To be by your side during the storm and stay with you during the calm.

  4. Hi I hope you find some genuine supportive friends soon. I don’t have many friends (apart from Facebook friends) but they do support me when I need them. When I had a nervous breakdown at the end of 2013/14 that was when I found out who my true friends were. I was acting totally crazy, mad OCD rituals 10 hours a day, some friends ditched me but others helped me through the breakdown. I hope you find some of these friends too.

  5. Totally relate to this. I hardly talk to anyone anymore, partly my fault for pulling back, but why not pull back if you’re never there anyway, right? Sometimes I feel like they will never fully understand me and I’m tired of thinking that I’ve found something or someone real only to be disappointed in the next instant.

    1. thenyxoftime — I can definitely relate to this. Not only is it exhausting to give of yourself/be there for other (especially when struggling), and not to have anyone’s support back when you need a shoulder to lean on; it’s also extremely disheartening… to already feel so very alone & deeply fear abandonment, only to be let down time & time again. My family’s basically disowned me, unless of course they need AND expect me to do whatever xyz they way want from me, and friends??… Haven’t had any — especially not in-person — in IDK how long (I guess not since nearly 15+ years ago when I was still in uni & before, and had “friends” bc of how active in uni/school, work, extra-curricular, and such I was into; so we were “friends” bc we attended the same classes/meetings & shared similar interests, but they never really knew anything about the ‘real me.’) I have a very select few of long-distance friends I’d call “close,” who I was in treatment with, but they have their own struggles and I’d much rather not burden anyone else with mine. I have a very, very select few of “online” friends — who’ve turned into penpals &/or phone buddies too at times — but again, they all have their own issues they’re trying to manage without me needing to add my shit to the pile.

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